Double eyelids, along with a sharp nose, big eyes, and curly brown hair, are one of the most sought after physical highlights for an Asian face. Apparently they give Asians a Western appeal.
***I ran into Ms. Valentino at Costco as I was writing the top half of this post. Big eyes, sharp features, brown hair. The "Western appeal".***
Seeing the efforts and hopes my friend placed into her quest for the double eyelid engendered a self consciousness I had never felt before. Looking into the mirror, I saw contortions of my eyes, so different from those around me. Thus, I curiously gave the tape a try. However, such a forced tactic did not bring much success. The tape was still in plain sight, no matter how small I made it, and it felt itchy and uncomfortable, prompting furious eye twitching and scratching.
From that year on, middle school seemed to be a place to criticize, comment and laud others for their looks. I especially paid attention to Americans, with their sharp cheekbones, big puppy dog eyes, pointy nose bridges, and of course, the deep creases above their eyes. Being the naive child that I am, I made it a goal to mold myself into one of them. My father used to pinch my nose, chuckling that if I pinched hard enough, my nose would grow sharper. I took his words to heart. Contracting some sort of a squeezing device out of a chip clip and some tissues (so the clip wouldn't imprint a funky design), I left the clip stuck on my nose for an hour. As they say, beauty is pain.
In 2013, I read an interesting article on the faces of Miss Korea 2013.
At first, I thought that it was the same woman with a myriad of hairstyles. Yet they are all different people, with different lives and personalities. Looking at the similarities in noses, cheekbones and eyes, I realized my foolish hope of creating a face that fit in, for such an act creates a crowd, not an individual.
Who I was before, a naive girl who just wanted to look like others to be accepted, is not who I am today. Looking in the mirror, I realize that I could never imagine myself any different. My one double eyelid, my round nose, my faint lips. Though I still attempt numerous tactics to curl my hair, I don't feel like me unless I'm back to the usual silky, black, straight hair. The picture proves that why would anyone ever want to look like anyone else, when the price to pay is her individuality, a face that defines who she is? My face is a testament to my pride, my culture, and the acceptance that my unique, Chinese look is how others identify me as Karen brings much more satisfaction than any modification to my features.
Similar to the women who won Miss Korea, in India many of the pageant winners have fair skin because that is a prized feature that people value there; everyone wants light skin and there is even a huge industry that creates cream to lighten skin tones. In the movie industry as well, most famous actresses have fair skin which just goes to proves your point that they are just creating a crowd, not unique individuals.
ReplyDeleteWow, thanks for sharing, I never quite considered other races, but it seems most cultures are trying so hard to become "white" and lose their cultural identity along the way :/
Delete**cough definitely no "There is no Unmarked Woman" deja vu**
ReplyDeleteNo but seriously, the act of fitting in with a crowd...allows you to do just that. It allows you to lose your unique identity and be a simple, almost stereotypical group follower. Some people (I assume) want that simplicity. Otherwise, these groups would not exist. I guess some people like how following a group ideal allows you to go through life without having to spend the effort to be you.